About
What?
This isn’t really supposed to be a blog. It’s just a place to keep thoughts. Thoughts which ought to turn into messages, snippets, words of wisdom (hopefully wisdom, anyway).
Thoughts which I ought to pass on to my boys.
Life lessons which could save them time and pain if they learn them at the Day-School of Dad in stead of the Laboratory of Life.
The sorts of things which, in the normal course of events, I might never quite get around to sharing – until I had missed the opportunity.
Things I will regret not having told them if I reach the end of my life (or if it reaches me – sooner than expected ;) ) without at least having given them the chance to recieve from me.
Dying isn’t the only enemy. Growing up is just as much of a threat – as is growing apart.
Who knows how close we will all be in ten years’ time?
I often ponder the past and the future. I am not a worrier, but I am a thinker. The one thing which stresses me out is the thought that I haven’t done the best thing for my boys. Failing to pass on what I know would be a terrible thing in my book. So writing my thoughts down here is a way to keep them in case I am lost, or the opportunity to share them is lost somehow.
So, this isn’t a blog so much as a Plan B.
Perhaps I should have called it “Backup for Boys”?
I’ve always been one for writing things down when they occur to me. I always carry a notebook and a pen or pencil (or both – or several!). In fact, I can talk for some time about the precise nature of my prefered notebook, and about the rationale behind my choice of writing implement. I will probably post about those one day. This blog is another application of that mindset.
I’m not writing this to avoid my responsibility to tell you these things. Nor am I trying to avoid difficult or embarassing conversations (I’m not easily emarassed). Rather, I’m trying to make sure that you get access to what I should be passing on. I hope that I get to teach each of these lessons explicitly and clearly through the actions and attitudes you see in me day to day. That’s the way to teach – to pass on what we have to another generation. It’s not knowledge I want to impart – it’s far deeper than that. Writiting can only really give you the knowlede part, not the character, not the attitude – but it’s an acceptable worst case.
The very fact that I choose this approach reveals something about my attitude. Can you spot it?
Who am I?
I think that who I am will come out as I write, but here are a few facts to get us started…
My name is AJ Finch. I live in Tunbridge Wells with my lovely young wife, Sarah and my three amazing boys: Benjamin, Matthew and Joseph.
I work (at the time of writing) as a computer programmer for a bank in London.
Sarah and I have been married since 2000.
I am not a talented writer (as you can see!), but I’m thinking that writing this blog won’t make me any worse, will it?
I’m not guaranteeing that any of this is great stuff – it’s just … me. All I’m doing here is sharing me. What else can I do?
Who are you?
As I began to write, I realised that my readership might not be limited to just my own children. I am aware that there are plenty (too many!) children out there who do not have the benefit of a Daddy of their own. Some Daddies leave, some are cruelly taken away; others were never there. If what I put here brings anything useful to any of you then that’s fantastic and you are very very welcome.